Dreams – The Cranberries

All my life
Is changing every day
In every possible way

In all my dreams
It’s never quite as it seems
Never quite as it seems

I know I’ve felt like this before
But now I’m feeling it even more
Because it came from you

Then I open up and see
The person falling here is me
A different way to be

I warn more
Impossible to ignore
Impossible to ignore

They’ll come true
Impossible not to do
Impossible not to do

Now I tell you openly
You have my heart so don’t hurt me
You’re what I couldn’t find

Totally amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You’re everything to me

All my life
Is changing every day
In every possible way

And oh my dreams
It’s never quite as it seems
Cause you’re a dream to me
Dream to me

Can You Be In Love With More Than One Person At The Same Time?

Technically you can love more than one. But you’ll lose potency. You’ll be building on sand instead of soil. And the love you can give and receive will be lukewarm at best.

So the question then becomes: Is that true love?

My definition of love is truth, commitment, and all-or-nothing. And since love is an action, not just space you carry in your heart, there’s not enough time in the day to romantically love many. I say, if you’re going to love, love one. And love hard.

- John Kim

Immortality – Celine Dion

Note: A song about someone who doesn’t want to commit at the moment for they have another dream to reach. It’s kind of sad. Because you know, sometimes there will be no second chance. When you leave the come back, there is no guarantee the person will still be waiting for you.

Immortality Lyrics

from Let’s Talk About Love

So this is who I am

And this is all I know
And I must choose to live
For all that I can give
The spark that makes the power grow

And I will stand for my dream if I can
Symbol of my faith in who I am
But you are my only
And I must follow on the road that lies ahead
And I won’t let my heart control my head
But you are my only
And we don’t say goodbye
And I know what I’ve got to be

Immortality
I make my journey through eternity
I keep the memory of you and me inside

Fulfill your destiny
Is there within the child
My storm will never end
My fate is on the wind
The king of hearts, the joker’s wild
But we don’t say goodbye
I’ll make them all remember me

Cos I have found a dream that must come true
Every ounce of me must see it though
But you are my only
I’m sorry I don’t have a role for love to play
Hand over my heart I’ll find my way
I will make them give to me

Immortality
There is a vision and a fire in me
I keep the memory of you and me, inside
And we don’t say goodbye
We don’t say goodbye
With all my love for you
And what else we may do
We don’t say, goodbye

8 Signs You’re Ready for Marriage | MeetMindful

8 Signs You’re Ready for Marriage | MeetMindful.

by Suzanne Muller

1. You only want to focus on one person.

You’ve dated different people, maybe a lot of people. Dating can be exhilarating, yet jumping from person to person can be exhausting. Relationships take time, effort and energy. I knew I was ready to get married when I wanted to solely focus on him. I was fed up with dating games. I realized that I would rather give my undivided attention to this relationship and have him be the center of my heart than try to give little bits of me here and there. 

2. Your family and friends can see how happy you are with this person.

Your friends and family have known you the longest and know you best. You will be able to feel if they like who you are as a couple together. You want friends and family to bless your marriage. There were a handful people whose permission I requested. They gave me a big fat “yes.”  One said, “I would marry you myself right now if I could.” That’s when I really knew I had their undivided support of our union.

3. Your heart says “go.” 

In addition to the green light from family and friends, your heart will feel at peace about being married. You may still be nervous, but deep down you recognize that you are well-equipped for the adventure of marriage. It is a gut feeling and instinct that only you have about what’s next for your relationship. My mom always tells me, “When your head, your heart and your gut are all aligned then it’s right, and not until then.” Aren’t moms great?

4. You’re a little nervous about committing to marriage.

Being married is a commitment that should not be taken lightly. If you are nervous, that’s all right. It’s actually a good thing. It shows you care, and the commitment is important. I was nervous the night before my wedding. I had some doubts and even wondered if I was making the right choice, but when I said, “I do,” I meant it. I actually told him that I would not meet him at the altar if I had any doubts that were unaddressed. We had many long, deep conversations before we walked down the aisle. Honestly, I wasn’t nervous at all on the day of my wedding. Having talked through our concerns made declaring our vows to each other even more pure and sweet.

5. You have gained the skills to work through the bumps in the road.

Disagreements and arguments are inevitable (and healthy) in relationships. You have to develop the ability to resolve issues to completion. An issue will linger when you don’t iron it out as a couple. You may be tempted to use it against each other later, which leads to bigger problems. Clearing up issues can be fast and easy if you have a set of tools that works for both of you. These skills—speaking your truth, apologizing and listening to each other’s viewpoint—are a must before saying “I do.”

6. Saying “I’m sorry” is easy. 

It can be so simple. Yet, why is it so hard to say you’re sorry? If you cannot say it, you may be destined for divorce if you decide to marry anyway. That’s the reality. I knew I was ready to be married when I could easily say, “I’m sorry for being a jerk.” Think again if you believe apologizing gives away your powerit’s quite the opposite. Things will get under your skin or hit a nerve sometimes. It’s human. Being attached to being right only causes distance and friction, the opposite of the love, affection and fun that you truly desire. When you can truthfully and authentically say, “I’m sorry,” you’ll have a skill that’s needed in a long-term marriage.

7. You’ve learned how to be transparent.

Transparent? Eeek! Yes, meaning all your cards are on the table. Nothing is withheld. Nada. You can talk with your future husband or wife about anything: kids, cleanliness, money, sex, travel, dreams, work, family, politics and religion. Until you can easily disclose your true feelings about these subjects, I recommend you stay in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. There is a big difference between, “What is your favorite color,” and, “Would you like to have children?” You must discuss the important areas before you tie the knot. You won’t agree on everything. It just means you are willing to talk openly so there are no surprises.

8. Life with this person is better than without. 

Three years ago when I started dating my husband, I knew there was something different about him. As time went on, our togetherness had a certain flow. He made my life better and brought something to it that no other man ever had. I didn’t want him to get away. I wanted what he brought to my life. Did he make me nuts at times, and vice versa? Surely. Do I do things that make him crazy? Absolutely! Could I have gone out and met someone else? Yes. Could he? Of course. I never thought I would get married. I thought I could be happy in a healthy dating relationship, but something shifted. It was time, and I could authentically give my word to him. My heart, my gut and my head were aligned. I could yell from the rooftop that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, I could build a life with him, and I wanted him all to myself.

If you can identify these signs for yourself as you’re considering tying the knot, you are on a wonderful path to marrying the right person for you. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly. Being confident that you feel ready for this lifelong commitment will give you an excellent chance of living happily ever after with a partner.

 

How to Meet a Mindful Mate | MeetMindful

How to Meet a Mindful Mate | MeetMindful.

by

1. Gaze Inward

Perhaps it’s the writer in me that always wants to sit down and analyze myself, but without understanding what one is actually looking for then it is much harder to find. 

Use these prompts:

What is love?

How do you want to be loved?

How do you want to love others?

How is life is best fulfilled?

Who are you?

Who do you want to be?

These are not easy questions; there’s no need to rush through them, this is about getting deeper in order to open further and expand opportunity. 

Understanding the how, what, why and who of one’s own concepts of love will help reel in that exact thing. 

2. Reflect Outward

Become the person you want to date. Sure opposites attract, but most relationships have common ground when it comes to the important traits like honesty, trust, loyalty, sense of humor, thoughtfulness etc. because those are the things humans generally want from each other. Opening up and truly being those things that you want to be and want to have takes vulnerability, it takes moving away from the safety of cynicism and control and tapping into a more exposed “you.”

Many people feel deep down that for some reason or another they don’t deserve happiness and so they shut people out and surround themselves with unfulfilling events and people. We all deserve happiness, it’s okay to have it and give it to others.  

3. Embrace Imperfections

That which is not perfect is way more common than that which is and so accepting that helps one grow. There are two ways to do this. One is accepting the things that cannot change and loving them anyway, like having a big nose or thin lips or a strong southern accent. Another is recognizing an imperfection and trying to improve upon it, like having road rage and channeling that anger into red light meditations or being clingy and learning how to give someone else space. 

We are always works in progress, but understanding who we are and just “being” with that and loving that is just as important too. 

4. Establish your Dealbreakers 

Sure there are plenty of situations, habits, ugly kahki pants that can be taken care of in a relationship, but figure out the things that are not tolerable. Big things like, marriage, children, religion, finances, housing, pets, lifestyle and health as well as the smaller things like looks, cleaning ability, diet etc. should be taken into account. It’s okay if the dealbreakers seem shallow or vain or silly, they are yours and only you can know what you can live with and what you prefer to live without. 

5. Discover Your Passions and Do Them

There is nothing wrong with actively searching for a mate by utilizing online dating, friends and family and regularly meeting people, but that shouldn’t be all of one’s free time. A majority of one’s free time should be spent doing passion-filled activities, or at least the search for them.

If searching for a mindful mate, mindful living practices may be the best areas to explore; something fitness related like hiking or ultimate Frisbee, something spiritual related like yoga or meditation. Local volunteering is always a great way to give back and perhaps meet someone likeminded (though that shouldn’t be the main goal). Whatever one truly loves doing they should do it, others with the same love will show up. 

6. Project 

This may seem a little hokey but it can actually work. Project what you want into the universe. Make that dream guy or gal come to life by visualizing who they are and focusing of finding those qualities in another. Say it out loud. Maybe even put it on a vision board if you’re into that kind of thing. Write it out. Make finding a mindful mate a concrete priority for your life, or else, who knows, you might end up going on as many bad dates as I have and trust me, it’s not necessary.

What Needs to Go Before You Find Real Love | MeetMindful

What Needs to Go Before You Find Real Love | MeetMindful.

by Tamara Star

I want you to do three things right now.

1. Write down the names of all your significant others.

Put each name at the top of a piece of paper, one name per paper. Next, I want you to write down the things you loved about each one. Admit them, there were good things about everyone. Be generous, make a long list, and be honest.

Even lying, cheating, disappointments had good traits or you wouldn’t have been attracted to them in the first place. Think hard and remember.

2. Turn the negatives to positives.

Next, here’s the tricky part. I want you to list all the negatives you experienced in each of those relationships and turn them into positive gifts you were given. Let’s say one partner cheated on you. What you write down is this:I learned that loyalty, monogamy and honesty are traits I value.

Perhaps a partner of yours was chronically late. I want you to write, I learned that I value punctuality.

Instead of carrying a memory of an outcome you didn’t like, you instead play that relationship out to completion by seeing the gifts you were given. When you do this, you walk forward with positive memories in your heart, you feel empowered, rather than victimized, and you vibrate with positive energy and anticipation. We seal off our old hurts and fears of the future with a solid period at the end of the sentence, because we see the gifts of our past.

The past does not have to equal the future when we take the crap we were thrown & turn it into fertile compost for our future.

3. Quit beating yourself up for all of your failures in love.

Ever start a job you didn’t like?

Every failure in life, actually gets you closer to what you DO want.

Sometimes we have to taste something bad to know we don’t like it, and love unfolds this same way.

Think back on all of those relationships.

You definitely learned what you liked, and obviously learned what you didn’t like, right? Next round, you won’t stick your hand in that honey pot if it appears to have those less than desirable traits.

You’re smarter. You choose more wisely.

When we remove our “so-called relationship failures” from memory, our self-esteem can free itself from the negative muck and soar.

There are no mistakes. Every past failure led you somewhere. Even miserable life occurrences, when reflected upon, took you towards something new. What we must realize is this: all those past relationship failures were also leading us towards something new….the right person…..real love.